Forgettable
by Digger McFoogle
Summary: Jessie has followed Barret for most of her adult life, leaving her family behind her. Now someone from her old life wants to meet her, and it could spark ideas which never before enterend her mind


_Disclaimer: Characters __©__ Squaresoft. I wrote this because my two favourite female characters didn't seem to have much of a history, and no one ever writes about Jessie, even though she rocks! Look out for Forgettable II: Beauty to Beast, which is about Scarlet and someone linked to her past…_

Forgettable

Jessie walked over to the exit of seventh heaven. She was glad that kid Cloud got out of the upper plate safely after Shinra pursued them. He was a cute kid.. Flattering, too.

She wrapped her jacket round her as she stepped into the dark. They were all out tonight. Drunks, addicts, you name it. She could never look down on them. They were all good people, just born on the wrong side of the tracks… or the wrong side of the plate.

She started to walk faster as the cold got to her more. She didn't even really know where she was going… was she really going to go to the station? I mean, the letter had said "meet you there", but was she really going to show? She'd never been one for remembering. And she'd never been interested before either. To her, Jessie was the disgrace of the family… the one who gave up her comfortable Midgar life to go into the slums, all 'cause of one guy…

Like they'd ever understand.

They thought she'd followed Barret because of some dumb crush. It wasn't like that. Barret really cared about stopping Shinra killing the planet, and so did she. He opened her eyes to what they could do to help the planet, the people… he changed her life. Okay, so maybe the feeling developed over time, but that wasn't what was important. What was important was she was making a difference… even if her work wasn't always great, they needed her, she knew it… who else would keep the peace?

Okay, maybe Tifa… but she would always side with Cloud. Barret needed someone to stick up for him too! In truth, Jessie never really got on well with Tifa. Sure, she was a sweet girl, but there was something about her that wasn't quite right… when she was with Cloud, it was like one minute she was following him around like an obsessed teenager, next minute she was weeping when he came near her. She needed to sort herself out. And tell him how she felt, too…

Now that was hypocritical. Yeah maybe Tifa should say something, but wouldn't that mean that she should herself? She'd been part of Avalanche for four years, ever since she first met the man with a gun-arm in the slums. She never knew why she snuck down there at night. Maybe she was a rebel at heart… she laughed inside. A rebel. Yeah right. She snuck down there because she followed her sister, got lost and ended up in a strange bar called Seventh Heaven. She met him there. He was so enraged, so passionate about his cause. He had just lost his wife and best friend at that time, not to mention the fact that he had been blamed for the whole town of Corel being destroyed… She felt proud to know all this stuff. Barret had told her everything. He trusted her over all of them, and none of them knew. They had intimate moments, they spent time alone together, they shared all their secrets…she'd even seen him cry.

Now, that was something punishable by death. If anyone ever knew what she knew… it wouldn't be pretty, that was for sure. They shared lots of tears and secrets. Jessie'd told him about her family; her violent Shinra father, her three sisters, her housewife mother. All of them did what was expected of them, except for her. The eldest joined Shinra like her father, one opened a shop in town, one became a housewife… then there was her. Jessie had to be different. She wasn't going to be forgettable like the rest of her dumbass family. She was going to make a difference. Help Barret save the planet. He was a born leader. He'd save the world. And she'd be there with him, all the way.

She'd reached the station. She looked down at her watch. Midnight. She should be here.

Ah, who was she kidding? Jessie knew she wouldn't show. She'd just got her hopes up… that was always a bad idea if you were prone to being disappointed. People always promised her stuff and failed to deliver. Tifa promised to hold a birthday party for her… Cloud had promised to teach her sword work… Biggs and Wedge had promised to take her to the Gold Saucer… Barret had promised to marry her someday…

Damn it.

Why'd she remind herself. He was just kidding. "Hey, you keep being such a goddamn perfect dame and I'll consider making an honest woman of ya!" was what he's said. Just a dumb joke after good sex. Maybe it was a bad idea… I mean, getting involved with your boss is bad enough… but when you both want different things…

She pushed it to the back of her mind. The train would be here soon. Then she'd know if a Shinra promise meant squat.

The train pulled up slowly. Jessie braced herself and ran through a list of possible greetings. "Hey, its great to see you" didn't sound convincing. "Hey, how you been?" sounded to casual to greet your long-lost sister. The doors slid open. Nothing. No-one.

She turned back and walked away. Then she heard something.

"Jessie?"

He turned round. There she stood, same brown eyes, same brown hair, same sweet timid voice.

"Hello Shera"

They sat together in silence, each picking at the sushi in front of them. Jessie had a thousand questions, but she wasn't sure if she wanted the answers yet.

She had found out Shera was living in a small place past Neibelhiem, Cloud and Tifa's hometown, with Cid Highwind, a former pilot she worked with once. They lived a quiet existence, occasionally by the Shinra. How boring.

Jessie'd told her own life story… well, the censored version. She decided to skip over the arson, casual sex agreement and countless deaths she was involved in… If you cut out all of that, then she was a successful computing whiz living with a guy called Barret and helping him to save the planet. Perfectly agreeable.

Still silence… Jessie decided to break it. "Why are you here, Shera?"

Damn it, that sounded harsh. But it was to late to change it, so she stuck on a sour expression. "Well?"

Shera shifted uncomfortably. Should she tell her the truth, that she was running away? No… Jessie wouldn't understand. Especially since she'd spun that dream-like story of her situation…

"I've been wanting to see you for a long time. Cid's away for the weekend sorting out a new Shinra plan and I thought to myself 'hey, good opportunity'…"

She could not believe how dumb that sounded. New Shinra plan? Hah! They never came near that dumb little town. Cid was at home, probably cussing over not having a slave to wait on him… she didn't want to think what would happen if she went back.

"Nice thought" nodded Jessie, taking a bite from her meal. "Y'know, I would have found you too, if I'd had any time off… I mean, Barret relies on me a lot…"

_Lie._

Shera shifted uncomfortably again. What now… "So, how is the crusade going?"

That sounded patronising.

Jessie nodded slightly. "Going good. Had our first big success this week. We're really starting to make an impact."

Yeah, a real impact. Destroying a main reactor, killing those around the area… was it really worth the deaths of those Shinra employees? She stopped herself. The more you think of a few deaths the more you loose the bigger picture. Saving the world. Everyone in it. There were bound to be casualties.

"That sounds great." Shera wondered if she could sound less enthusiastic. Doubtful. She started again. "Look, Jess, I really want to know if you're okay. I mean, really okay… like this guy, Barret, he treats you right, doesn't he? And you're not getting into any trouble, are you? I mean, I've spent three years not knowing where you were or what you're doing… I miss you so much!" she stopped as tears started running down her face. Cid always told her she was a sentimental bitch. "I have a confession." she whispered. Jessie looked at her, concerned. "What is it, Shera?"

"I'm…  unhappy in RocketTown. I want to make a difference, do something useful… I was wondering if I could join your cause…"

Jessie stared in awe at her. Sweet Shera, the good-girl of the family, wanting to crusade against Shinra… wait, she didn't know…

"Shera, I can't let you join AVALANCHE. You just don't understand what it involves. You… we can't be peaceful in our progress 100% of the time. Sometimes we have to fight…"

"Then I'll fight!" cried the exasperated Shera, reaching out for her sister's hand. She could feel the ache of pain as Jessie snatched her hand away… and instant reflex to the sister she never cared about.

Jessie noticed the sad look on her sister's face. "Shera, its nothing personal, But Dad would have killed me if I let you do this. We're… we're a terrorist group, Shera."

She could see the colour drain from her sister's face. She honestly had no idea. Poor woman.

Shera carefully weighed up what Jessie had just told her… was breaking the law and living dangerously really that bad considering what she would be heading back to? She could see Cid's face now, cold and angry. He'd shout and her and raise his fists… she'd scream as they came back down…

"Shera?"

She looked back at Jessie. She didn't know…

She smiled. "I… can't go back, Jessie. I made a big decision coming here. If I turn back now, who knows what could happen…"

"Damn it, Shera! I can't let you stay here! You never even trained in combat! And we risk death every day! We're operating against a company that rules the world! I don't even know if we'll ever actually succeed in making a difference! We'll probably all just be dispatched by the Turks before the year is through."

She sat in shock at what she had just said. Did she really believe they were fighting for nothing? She'd never really thought about failure before… Barret always seemed as if he knew what he was doing, had the ability to… now she thought about it, it was almost hopeless. She looked back at Shera. "My fate is sealed. Don't let yours be, please"

_Oh but mine is, thought Shera. __I will live with Cid until either one of us dies. It will probably be me, at his hand… and then what will I have done? Aided an evil empire, sacrificed my life for someone when I offered to die for his safety. He owed me. Not the other way round._

She stayed put. "I can't go back. Either I stay here or I am on the streets."

Jessie let out an exasperated sigh. "No, Shera! Whatever you say, at least you are safe in RocketTown. Even if you're not happy, at least you will live to see thirty."

Shera looked down as the tears started again. It had taken so much courage to come here, and now she was being told to go straight back.

Jessie took the hand she had flinched away from only minutes ago, and held it in her own. "Go back, Sis."

Shera nodded weakly. Maybe she would return some other time.

_I must be dying…_

 Jessie lay in a contorted heap on the pillar… She had to get up, had to help Barret.

Then she realised she couldn't move.

She could die now. Not when so many lives were at risk... Not when it was her fault.

The terrorist attack had been traced to them. It had to be her shoddy work. The president had ordered to destroy the entire of Sector Seven… so many lives…

She could still hear Barret's gun-arm firing above her. _Have to move… She pulled her arm over, falling to the floor. She managed to drag herself up three steps before she noticed the amount of blood she had lost… she could taste it now, in the back of her throat… a sure sign._

She could make out two shapes above her.. That figure.. Had to be Tifa. That meant the other was Cloud. _You've got to help Barret…_

She couldn't tell if she told them that. She saw two figures run further up as she drifted again. She drifted in and out of consciousness for many minutes… A helicopter… fire…

Fire.

They had failed.

She saw the tumbling stones as she drifted into unconsciousness for the last time…

"Will you have some tea?"

The bruises had all but healed now. A little bit of make-up hid the rest.

Shera busied herself in the kitchen as Cid's new guests made themselves at home… that man… he had a gun arm…

She'd realised it long ago. That had to be Barret. That meant that Jessie…_No. Don't think about it now. Don't cry. You can't cry. He'll be angry._

"Why do you let him treat you like that?" asked the blonde kid. _Because I'm afraid, because I have nowhere else to go, because…_

"I owe him my life" she replied simply as Cid re-entered the room. "Damn it, Shera! Where's the God-damn tea?"

"S-sorry."

_I'm not sorry. I want to hurt you like you hurt me. Hit you. Make you scream like a little girl. I want to…_

She stopped herself. What was she saying? If she'd really wanted to do that, she would have done it a long time ago. She loved him despite of all that. That was her curse. Even if she had stayed with AVALANCHE, she probably would have come back some day. Her fate was sealed…

She could hardly think through the list of commotions. First this… _varied lot had turned up asking Cid for the Tiny Bronco, then Palmer from Shinra…_

Cid can sort it out. Wasn't her problem any more.

She turned from the sight of Cid leading the group out back. She spilt the cup of tea in her hand, feeling the sharp sting of the scalding water.

"Ah, f*** it!" she exclaimed, running her hand under the cold tap. The flesh turned a molten red… she smiled to herself. Jessie always wore something red…

As she bandaged it with a wet tea cloth her thoughts turned back to Cid… he must have been a bad influence. That language certainly didn't come from her family…she wondered what he'd say if he'd heard her…

Shera looked out the window. He wasn't coming back, she knew it. It wasn't as if he'd miss her.

She looked out of the window and up to the rocket. She was free now… she could do whatever she wanted with her life.

But what could she do?

There was nowhere to go now… All she'd ever wanted was to go say with her sister, help the planet… now it was too late. Jessie was dead… Jessie, her youngest sister… Jessie.

A small tear fell from her right eye. She had no one left.

Slowly but surely she turned round, and, as if in a trance, she started the daily chores.


End file.
